A cabbie picks up a Nun

A cabbie picks up a Nun 

She gets into the cab and notices that the VERY handsome cab driver won’t stop staring at her. 

She asks him why he is staring. 

He replies: ‘I have a question to ask you but I don’t want to offend you.’ 

She answers, ‘My son, you cannot offend me. When you’re as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I’m sure that there’s nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive.’ 

‘Well, I’ve always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me.’ 

She responds, ‘Well, let’s see what we can do about that: 

1, you have to be single and 

2, you must be Catholic.’ 

The cab driver is very excited and says, 

‘Yes, I’m single and Catholic!’ 

 ‘OK,’ the nun says. ‘Pull into the next alley.’ 

The nun fulfills his fantasy, with a kiss that would make a hooker blush. 

 But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying. 

‘My dear child,’ says the nun, ‘why are you crying?’ 

‘Forgive me but I’ve sinned. I lied and I must confess, I’m married and I’m Jewish.’ 

 The nun says, ‘That’s OK. 

 My name is Kevin and I’m going to a Halloween party.’

 

Drivers granted 7-month photocard licence extension

To make it easier for drivers who need to update their photocard licence with a new photo at the end of the 10 years validity, photocard driving licences that expire between 1 February 2020 and 31 August 2020 will be automatically extended for 7 months from the expiry date.

Drivers do not need to take any action as the extension will be automatic and they will be sent a renewal reminder before their 7 month extension ends.

If a driver has already applied online to renew their photocard, this will be processed as normal. If they have already sent a paper application to renew their photocard there will be delays in processing, but the 7 month extension will apply in the meantime.

This extension applies to the photocard renewal date. It does not apply where a driver’s entitlement to drive is due to expire if they wish to continue to hold a valid licence – they need to renew this in the normal way.

All theory tests in England from 4 – 7 June rescheduled

All theory tests in England from 4 – 7 June have been rescheduled due to the coronavirus (COVID-19) outbreak.

We are preparing test centers for a safe return to testing for all candidates and social distancing measures are being put in place. 

We will update you with a start date for theory testing in England as soon as we are able.

What DVSA are doing

We are emailing anyone with a test booked from 4 – 7 June inclusive to let them know it has been rescheduled. 

We wrote to you on 29 May to let you know that tests in Scotland and Wales will be rescheduled up to and including 21 June 2020. This is in line with government guidelines in the respective countries.

All theory tests in England on 2-3 June to be rescheduled

All theory tests on 2-3 June have been rescheduled due to the coronavirus (COVID-19) outbreak.

We are preparing test centers for a safe return to testing for all candidates and social distancing measures are being put in place. 

We will update you with a start date for theory testing in England as soon as we are able.

What DVSA are doing

We are emailing anyone with a test booked on 2-3 June in England to let them know it has been rescheduled. 

We wrote to you on 29 May to let you know that tests in Scotland and Wales will be rescheduled up to and including 21 June 2020. This is in line with government guidelines in the respective countries.

Latest Theory Test Update

All theory tests rescheduled on Monday 1 June
All theory tests on Monday 1 June have been rescheduled due to the coronavirus (COVID-19) outbreak.Tests in Scotland and Wales will be rescheduled up to and including 21 June 2020, this is in line with government guidelines in the respective countries.We are preparing test centres for a safe return to testing for all candidates. Social distancing measures are being put in place. We will update you with a start date for England as soon as we are able.What DVSA are doingWe are emailing anyone with a test booked up to and including 21 June in Scotland and Wales to let them know it has been rescheduled. We are emailing candidates in England with a test booked on the 1 June to let them know it has been rescheduled.

Motivation

From Time To Time We All Need A Little Motivation.

 Excellence is the result of caring more than others think is wise, risking more than others think is safe, dreaming more than others think is practical, and expecting more than others think is possible.

“If you place your head in a lion’s mouth, then you cannot complain one day if he happens to bite it off.”

Image by Christine Sponchia from Pixabay

A lion sits patiently, waiting for the perfect moment to seize today’s goal. “It is a commitment. It is an unrelenting pursuit of your goals. It will enable you to achieve greatness. Ordinary is not an option. Everyone wants it, but are you willing to hunt for it?”

Theory Test for Critical Workers

Update of Theory Test during Covid-19

COVID-19 update: theory test center locations for critical workers
To help critical workers get an emergency theory test at a location that is more suitable to them, we will be opening an additional 25 theory test centres across the UK.When applying for an emergency theory test online, candidates will be asked to select their ‘preferred’ test centre. Their theory test will then be booked at the nearest available centre if their preferred location is not available.Available theory test centre locationsCritical workers will now be able to take a theory test at:AberdeenEdinburghPlymouthBirminghamGlasgowPortsmouthBristolGuildfordSloughCambridgeIlfordSouthwarkCarlisleLeedsMile End AChelmsfordLiverpoolCardiffColchesterManchesterNewcastleEastbourneNorthampton DudleyNottingham The new locations have been chosen based on critical worker test demand. Next stepsTheory tests for anyone who is not a key worker have been cancelled up to and including 30 May 2020. We’re keeping the situation under constant review, in line with government guidance, and will provide further information on testing as soon as we can.

Rural Driving 60 MPH

60 MPH roads into 30 MPH Bikers overtaking.

It is very important when learning to drive that you get as much driving experience as possible some road experience will be out of our control due to the different seasons.

But no matter what season you are having your lessons in we will do everything we can to ensure you experience as many driving situations as you can. These videos will also help you with HAZARDS as they occur in daily real life.

 

Driving The Amalfi Coast

A Truly Amazing Trip.

Well, for many of you newly qualified drivers out there, admittedly, it may not be the first destination that springs to mind, however, that said, there are newly qualified drivers of all ages, therefore, I hope to inspire all generations and perhaps if it is not already on your list of things to do then it may very well get added.

So, the destination in mind, let’s hit the road, Jack but first are we taking our own car because if so, where do we start? Well, we have two choices ……. either ferry or Eurotunnel, however, having been on a ferry (I don’t wish to put you off), it sure is not for me. The next question to answer is where do we wish to travel to? Perhaps France then on to Belgium and into Italy? Ummm sounds good to me! So if you’re with me so far, we hope, at let’s say Dover and enjoying the short journey to France, so far so good but looking into this it now leaves us with a whole lot of driving to do and do and do.

So, hey bright idea moment, why not take the Eurostar train from London, St Pancras to Paris and then a high-speed train to Naples and then let’s hire a car! Now let’s think a moment. What car shall we hire? ……. a classic modern car, a sports car perhaps or let’s go the whole hog and hire a classic car, let’s say an Alfa Romeo. Well, we are in Italy after all and traveling in style!

Now we’re motoring ……. the unmistakable roar as we move up the gearbox, the smell of leather, the open road, sea view, cliff-edge roads – you are in Italy driving the Amalfi coast, one of the most famous coastal roads ever and used extensively in endless movies, a few of which spring to mind:

The movie, ‘A Good Woman’ and a 2004 remake of Oscar Wilde’s ‘Lady Windermere’s Fan’ is a gem for lovers of the Amalfi coast. Starring Helen Hunt, Scarlett Johansson, and Tom Wilkinson, this movie is set in the 1930s on the Amalfi coast. With scenes filmed in Amalfi, Atrani, Ravello and other spots on the Amalfi coast, the setting is an enchanting backdrop to Wilde’s satirical commentary on the strength of love and the virtues of marriage. If you’re looking for pure romance and a movie escape to Italy, then you’ll love ‘Only You,’ the 1994 film featuring Robert Downey Jr and Marisa Tomei. After a beautiful swirl through Venice, Rome, and Tuscany, Amalfi coast lovers will swoon at the scenes filmed in ‘Positano.’ The Hotel Le Sirenuse is the setting for the pool and hotel scenes and ‘Positano’ lovers will enjoy the views and scenes filmed in town.

Okay, you get the message. I could go on and on listing and listing but it would make for a very long read.

Well, I don’t know about you but all this driving has made me very hungry and what better place could there ever be to stop for food than the Amalfi coast. You probably don’t need me to tell you that you will certainly be spoilt for choice with beautiful scenery, fantastic weather, and exceptionally good simple food. Is there anything missing? Presumably, you have a companion or two with you on this remarkable trip to go with the wonderful backdrop, weather, food, and the piece de la resistance. Yes, you’ve guessed it, to add to all this splendor, it just wouldn’t be complete without a perfectly balanced glass or two of your favorite wine before you head back on the road.

Naturally, more driving may require another pit stop as the daylight fades and beautiful dusk arrives bringing with it stunning sunsets leading us nicely to the end of today’s journey. Now for a clifftop restaurant, park up and do what the Italians do best ……. eat, drink, and be merry late into the night.

How Not To Drive From Portugal To Seville

Would I do it again?

A long, long time ago, well really, I was just twenty years old and it is true to say, perhaps for some hard to believe I know, that we actually lived and survived life without the internet, mobile phones and any other connected gadgets ……. perhaps knows to us oldies as the good old days.

Well, only having taken my first ever holiday the year before this trip was organised, we are now going to embark on my then somewhat limited travel experiences.  Anyway, having enjoyed my first holiday so much in the Algarve, Portugal, I decided it would be a great place to visit on holiday with my girlfriend.  So off we both went, so far so good and arrived at our beautiful holiday destination. 

All was okay until I very naturally said I was off to hire a car, a perfectly normal sentence, and procedure although now you collect it at the airport.  Back then you either trotted around looking at all the local car hire deals or booked it at reception.  I decided reception would be the most preferred method after all holidays are about enjoyment and relaxation, however, I was deeply saddened at the sudden blistering verbal attack from my girlfriend, the upshot being I was not a safe driver, I was extremely dangerous and should not be behind a wheel of a motor car!  I did thank her for her vote of confidence and say I have never been complimented like that before but naturally was very curious about this verbal attack on something I believed I was indeed very good at.

Now I know some men wouldn’t question their other half and fair play to them but I did and went immediately to reception and arranged for a car asap – they were only too happy to oblige.  However, I cannot say it went down too well with the girlfriend but what the hell (by the way I am now an ADI Driving Instructor, lols).  We left the car ready and waiting in the car park.  In those days you didn’t get the sort of car you get today, you got what they had!  There was not usually much choice, in other words, a very basic, non-air-conditioned car but it did have doors, wheels, and an engine so I guess I was happy with that!

Strangely enough, by this time, she was looking at the notice board with all the trips that could be made.  She had complimented my driving so badly, I thought she was not at all interested and may have preferred the bus but oh no, she came back smiling and said we should go to Seville.  Strange idea, methinks to myself since it had to be one of the biggest trip going but me loving to drive and me thinking I am clever and she not working it out said nothing and we agreed to set off early the next morning which we did – I said no more.

We stopped a a Shall garage purchased a very basic road map, and with nothing other than this map no internet, no mobile phones and surrounded by non English speaking people we started to make our way from Portugal to Seville, luckily the girlfriend was a very good map reader (well when she was not sleeping she was) we on the whole did not do too bad probably took 4 hours longer than it should have we eventually arrived tired and worn out air con was anything but standard so made it a long and uncomfortable journey, how lucky are we today, luxury compared to what we was used to, any way eventually somehow we arrived smack bang in the centre of Seville and too add to our exhausting journey we must have spent two hours or more in city traffic without a clue as to what we were doing were we were going and so on, somehow we parked up desperately hungry we with out any planing or thought sat down at the nearest eating place, had no idea how or what to order something came i guess they did overcharged us it didn’t fill us up but with little travel experience what could we expect, and in the process the girlfriend had managed to have her money stolen which caused an argument and within no time we were back in the car leaving Seville probably after only 1 hour, which is a great shame it is a wonderful city every time i now go the Spain i always drive to Seville for the day it’s simply a magical and wonderful place full of history and culture, wonderful people and yes i now know where to eat and eat well and mingle amongst all those lovely Spanish people.

I would say the journey back was 100 x harder than the journey there tired hungry fed up getting dark map reader simply slept wok on the odd occasion to kindly inform me I was driving the wrong way and went back to sleep, to make it even worse she was a good driver but blatantly refused to drive so really I would have been better off with a manakin as a passenger for all the help she offered on the way back, come to think of it the conversation would have been better with a manakin I am sorry to say.

Hours and hours seemed to pass us by, round and round in ever decreasing circles i went becoming even more weary and as the hours passed us by we were both starving, as if by magic i entered a very quiet some what rundown town, it was late on a Sunday night but it just seemed as if we had driven into an old western town, i parked up to try and figure out where we go from here we seem to have gone completely off track i desperately needed a rest and to get out of the car, as i got out of the car as if my magic in the doorway of what looked like a very old shop a English man spoke to me asking i was ok, i was surprised and very pleased to be able to speak with someone we could understand, i said where were lost and very hungry, he come in we will sort you out it was a restaurant wow amazing it was similar to the TV program alo alo, i think either extreme luck or divine intervention or both, this establishment was run by two very gay men, which in them days was not as common as it is today, well they were great they made us so welcome and gave us extra they could not do enough for us! I only wish I could find that place but I guess it’s long gone now, a mix up over the bill soon got sorted and nagging from the girlfriend for giving them a big tip, no sure why they deserved it and it was my money, to me they were lifesavers! Great people great food, and they gave us directions and got us back on track, if only they could read this and remember us and let us know their names and where we actually stopped now that would be something we live in hope.

I am not so sure I could have ever made it back without the help of the owners of the restaurant, so a big thank you guys whoever you are, a few more hours and we arrived back late into the night I never thought that I would be so happy to see a hotel, it had quite frankly been a day from hell, all I now needed was a drink, oh no that did not go down with the girlfriend (give me strength) the very least I was entitled to would be a drink! Anyway, she went to bed and I went to the bar, the barman took one look at me and insisted I sat down he never let me get up and just replaced my drink as and when it was needed which, to be honest, I was very grateful of after all a few meters to the bar was a long way. I think the ice-cold lager helped, I knew it would numb the pain of the morning when I got to the room, lol’s I did eventually get to the room only to discover she had been ordering cocktails from room service, a sandwich yes I could live with, I went to bed wondering whether it was all worth it, she seemed to have a canny knack of winding me up, the very next morning she recommended we drive to Lisbon not as far as Seville but never in a million years I think my answer was !! we kept the journeys to very local and to be honest I was happy to hand the car back, and they were amazed at just how many miles we had done, 

A very difficult trip, unnecessary due to inexperience and a lack of planning but on reflection, I am pleased I did do this journey and am pleased to say I don’t have any difficulties now driving overseas and my travel companions are far more compatible.